Hi there,
Thank you for your letter. Im really glad that you decided to get in contact with me about this. It sounds like you are feeling quite confused at the moment and youre not sure what to do.
Youve told me that you like this boy and it seems as though you would like to get to know him better. Youve also told me that youre still 12, so Im really concerned that this boy is asking you to do things. You havent said exactly what those things are but I am guessing they might be sexual things. At 12, the law says that youre not old enough to be able to agree to do anything sexual. The law is there to help protect you. It means that if you did do anything with him while you were still 12, he could be arrested by the police. You wouldnt be in any trouble with the police though, because they would say that you were too young to be able to make a proper choice about what happened with him.
You might want to think about discussing your feelings with this boy. Its really important that you always feel comfortable and ready for anything that you decide to do together. Its also important that he respects any decisions you make. I can hear you are worried about messing it up if you dont do things. Relationships should be about trust, respect and kindness. This boy should be happy to wait for you to be older before even asking you about making the relationship a sexual one. Even when you are older, nobody is ever allowed to pressurise you into doing anything that you dont feel ready for and you always have a right to say no at any point. For a bit more information, you could have a look at the Relationships page in Explore.
Sometimes discussing your thoughts and feelings with someone outside the situation can help you to feel clearer. I wonder if there is an older friend, or an adult that you trust? You are very welcome to come and talk to a ChildLine counsellor at any point. You can do that by calling free (even from a mobile) on 0800 1111, or by 1-2-1 chat (which works a bit like instant messenger). I hope this helps.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
