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Friend is being very difficult accusatory and snappy

My friend is being very difficult, accusatory and snappy and she seems to be trying to cut me out. I have no clue why as less than a week ago we had a great sleepover. Nothing happened to upset her but the evening after, we went to a restaurant for dinner with a couple of others and she wasn't being herself. Today she snapped a really harsh comment at me over the phone "I hate going to restaurants because it's what u always like to do. I am fed up of pizza and pasta and I want to get a burger tomorrow. You can go somewhere nice and I will go get a burger on my own." Then she hung up. All I did was suggest we go to get pizza and she knows I hate burgers and I don't know why she said it. I feel hurt and confused. I don't know what to say to her when I see her tomorrow if she brings up the subject because I don't want to give in because then she will walk all over me and I can't go get pizza because then I will be pushing her away and then we are as bad as each other. Please, can someone tell me what I should say do and act like because I am completely clueless.

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Sam

Hi there,

Friendships can have their ups and downs, but when someone starts acting very different then it could be a sign that something else might be going on. It might be something within the relationship but it may also be something else entirely. The best way to sort it out is to talk about it instead of bottling it up.

When someone starts acting very differently it can be for any number of reasons. It might be that they are letting out feelings they have kept inside for a long time. Or it may be that there's something else in their lives which is having an impact on them.

Whatever happens the best thing to do is to offer to be there for your friend. It may not make her act any differently but at least you can then know that you've done your best to help.

One good way of offering to be there in this case might be to tell your friend that you just want to spend time with her and that she can choose where you go to this time and then you can choose it the next time. If you're able to get some time alone with her, you could make sure she knows that whatever happens, you're available for her to talk to.

If after a while things are not working out and you feel like it's having a big effect on you, then it's also okay to take some time out of the friendship for your own sake. Your feelings matter too, and you need to look after yourself.

You can get support from our counsellors or share your feelings with others on our message boards.

I hope this helps.

Thanks for the letter,

Sam

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