Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Used and forced to have sex with other people

i first started having sex at 15 when at the time my boyfriend was older. then after we broke upi was raped and told a boy who told me he was in love with me and wanted to be with me. he got me to fall in love with him and now im 17. he calls me names and hits me and isnt nice to me hes not my blyfriend but he says he loves me he gets me to go out and have sex with other people and if i dont to do it or say im scared he gets angry and moans at me until i do it wether it means sending photos videos and going out places to meet people who are older than me and who expect to have sex with me eveb if im telling them i dont to do a certain thing fhey carry on and its making me depressed. i wont be 18 for a few months so then it will be better as atleast i would be legal to do some of the things im being made to do

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

When someone forces you to have sex with other people it's called sexual exploitation. This means that someone is abusing your trust in them or making you have sex when you don't want to. Sometimes they might force you to have sex with people you don't know or make you go to places you don't want to. If they try to get you to live with them or move away from home then this is called trafficking. Trafficking is very dangerous and it is important that you tell someone you trust about what's happening as soon as possible so that they can make sure you're safe.

​Sometimes it can seem like it's okay to trust someone or that they're a nice person to begin with, but later on you might find that they change. If someone's planning to sexually abuse you it might be that they give you lots of gifts, take you to exciting places and make you feel good about yourself. This can look just the same as a normal relationship until things start changing slowly, which makes it difficult for you to recognise it. You might have heard this being called grooming - this just means that someone is doing lots of nice things for you, so that you will do things for them later.

An unhealthy relationship where someone sexually exploits you can be very dangerous. Being forced to have sex with people you don't know and that could put your safety at risk. This person is abusing you physically, sexually and emotionally and it's not okay.

It's very important that if he starts to try to cut you off from family or friends that you get out of that situation as quickly as possible by telling someone you trust. Sometimes young people are worried that they'll get in trouble if they tell someone that they're sexually active, but your safety is the most important thing.

If you want to talk to someone you can speak to our counsellors without him finding out. You can call on 0800 11 11 and this won't show up on your phone bill - though it's important to clear the call from your call history on the phone. If you speak to us online our counsellors can also keep your visit hidden. You can also talk the police by ringing 101 or if it's an emergency you can call 999.

I hope this letter has helped you - Childline is here for you whenever you need us.

Take care.

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter