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To Sam

My mum drinks

My mum drinks constantly and she is always shouting and telling me and my brothers and sister how much she hates us and how she wishes we had never been born ,and this happens daily today she has told my brother and i that we are ungrateful dirty little (swear word) and my sister that she is a big fat pig. My dad isn't at home very often as he works most of the time when we tell him whats been happening he says try to stay out of her way but its really hard, she also shouts when we are not at home and in front of our friends which is really embarrassing. my mum has started coming in our room in the middle of the night shouting at us. She has never hurt me before but she has hit my brothers a few times but tends to just tell us how much she wants to never see us again,

please help me and my siblings it's getting unbearable.

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Sam

Hi there,

If someone drinks and can’t control the amount they are drinking then they might have a drinking problem. Alcohol can affect how someone acts so if they drink all the time it can make living with them very unpredictable. If you think that your parent or carer drinks too much you can get help and support is available.

Living with someone who isn’t able to stop drinking can be stressful as they might lose control over their actions. Not being sure what they are going to say and do can make you feel anxious all the time. Home should be a place where you can relax and feel safe, so if you don’t feel safe it can make everything else in your life harder. It can affect your sleep, your schoolwork and your relationships.

You might feel confused and upset about how they behave when they’ve been drinking but what’s happening is not your fault. Someone who has a drinking problem might try to blame other people or things in their life for what they are doing. You are not to blame for their behaviour even if they say you are.

Being shouted at, told you’re hated and woken up in the middle of the night are all types of emotional abuse. You have the right to feel safe where you live and you can get support if you’re being emotionally or physically abused.  If you have a second parent or carer they should make sure that you are safe. No matter what you can contact a counsellor at Childline about what to do next if you feel stuck.

You can’t make someone else stop drinking and they might need help from professionals in order to stop. We have advice on coping with parents and alcohol. When someone you live with has a drinking problem and they are not able to look after you and your siblings you can speak to an adult you trust or ask for help from Social Services. It’s natural to feel worried about what will happen if you tell someone else but if your parent isn’t in control of what they’re doing, they aren’t able to take care of you in the way they should - and they may need some support too.

Talking to Social Services can be a big step so you could talk to a Childline counsellor first and get support in making this decision. Our counsellors are there to listen.

Thank you for your letter, I hope this has helped.

Take care,

Sam

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