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Advice for a friend

A really good internet friend of mine is anorexic. She has told her mum, but her mum refuses to believe her. When she went to a checkup with her GP, the GP said my friend should go to somewhere to get help and gave her some places to go nearby. Her mum brushed away the fact that even the doctor said she needed proper help for her condition. I'm really really worried about her and I want to give her some help or advice. What can she do?
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Sam

Hi there,

Seeing your friend not getting the support they need can be upsetting and frustrating. If she feels like she wants more support, it would be okay for her to try and get that herself.

When we’re young our parents or carers will make a lot of decisions for us, including what kinds of support they feel is best. But as you get older, you can start to have a say in what support is right for you. What all of this means for your friend is that even if she’s under 16 she can still try to get support from the places the doctor gave her.

Even when she knows she’s got the right to, there can be a lot of things that might make it difficult for your friend to go to these places. It can feel difficult thinking about what will happen or it could be difficult getting there. When you know someone online it can make it even more difficult trying to support them as you might not be able to go with them.

No matter what the reason, it’s never your fault if your friend isn’t able to access support herself. Often it can be that your friend won’t be able to access support until she’s ready. As her friend the most important thing you can do is be there to listen. Even when she’s not able to access the support she needs, you can’t replace it.

It can help to think about information you can give your friend on where to get support. Beat is an organisation that supports anyone with an eating disorder and the ChildLine message boards is a space to ask lots of different young people what they’ve found has helped. We also have lots more information and advice about eating disorders here.

ChildLine is a place where your friend can talk without her family having to find out. The ChildLine counsellors are there to support anyone, even when their parents don’t think that they need it. Find out more about talking to ChildLine.

Take care,

Sam

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