Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Comparing yourself to other people is natural but it can sometimes make you feel bad about yourself, especially when you want to be more like other people. Everyone is different and feeling confident is all about getting to know yourself and accepting who you are - your likes and dislikes, how you look and the things that are important to you.

You might feel under pressure to look a certain way from things you hear and see in the media, on social media and from people you know - no one is perfect and images that you see in videos, in films and in the media aren’t always how someone really looks. Sometimes friends or family can say things that make you feel you need to look or dress in a certain way to fit in but if you always follow what they say it can be hard to get to know what makes you happy.

It’s normal to want to be popular and to want other people to like you but you don’t have to change things about yourself to make that happen. Other people should accept who you are. Find out what feels right for you and try not to copy other people – experiment with different styles so you get to know what you like and what you feel comfortable wearing.

You might think that having a relationship is all about how you look but it’s also important to have things in common and to like the other person’s personality. Remember, always be yourself. Being self-confident and knowing what you want can be attractive to others as well.

Learning to like yourself and build your self-esteem can take time, so be patient. You could start by writing a list of five things you like about yourself or that you’re good at and then read your list every day to boost your confidence.

I hope this advice has helped and you can talk to a counsellor at Childline for more support about this or about anything else that’s worrying you.

Thank you for your letter.

Take care,

Sam