Ask Sam letter

​​Hi there,

It’s not okay for people to tease you or upset you because of how you look. This is a form of bullying and it’s wrong. There are a couple of things you can try to help you handle comments about your appearance.

If you feel the comments are meant to be hurtful then this is bullying and it's not okay. One thing you could try is to use a technique called Fogging.  This is where you pretend to agree with what the bully is saying in a really calm voice, rather than getting upset or angry. Staying calm and responding in this way can make the bully feel like there’s no point carrying on with their comments. You don’t have to believe what the bully is saying - just pretend to agree, which might help put them off. Check out our information and advice about fogging and being assertive.

It may be that the people making the comments don’t realise they're being hurtful and may not be trying to bully you. If you think this is the case, the best thing to do is let them know how you feel when they make a comment about your appearance. Nobody should make you feel bad about how you look and it’s okay to express your feelings.

From what you say, it sounds like you're finding it hard to cope with being Deaf. I want you to know you're not alone in feeling this. You can find out more about how other people are living and coping with deafness and disability on the Childline message boards.

If you'd like to find out more about how you can contact a Childline counsellor for a chat or sign up for a signing session with one of the counsellors, check out our Deaf Zone on the Childline website.

And remember: Childline is always here to support you.

Take care,

Sam