hi
my dad died of a sodden death only at 37 and im finding it really hard to cope at the moment with christmas coming up. im really sad and depressed at the moment and i don‘t know how to cope. also im not eating much any more so i need some help and advice how to cope with my problem.
Hi there,
As the year draws to a close people come together to celebrate and spend time. It's always difficult losing a loved one, but this time of year can be especially hard. Sometimes the gap someone leaves behind is more noticeable during special occasions. Coping with this is not easy, but it's possible with the right help and support.
When someone dies unexpectedly there can be a lot of change very quickly. This change can be difficult to come to terms with. For a while things may not feel right. If this person was someone you relied on for support before it can make it hard to know who to turn to for help.
There is no right or wrong way to cope when someone dies. Everyone grieves differently and it can take time. It's okay if you are coming to terms with what's happened at a different pace to other people.
But it's important to express how you feel. Keeping emotions bottled up inside can make it harder to cope. There are different ways to express yourself - either privately or with other people. You could try talking with other people who knew your dad and share how you're feeling with them. Or you could write a letter to your dad, saying everything you want to say. However you choose to express your feelings is up to you - do what feels right.
Sometimes it can help to remember all of the positive things about your dad's life. Write down memories and stories you have of him, along with photos or videos you might have. Collecting all of this together can help you grieve now and is something to take with you to look at in the future.
No matter what, Childline is here for everyone over Christmas. We are open 24 hours a day, every day. There's always someone here to talk to if you need it. Thank you for sending me this letter.
Take care.
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
