Hey Sam. Where I live the summer holidays has just started and in all honesty im worried instead of excited.
I cant figure out all of the reasons but I know that one is my parents. They argue a lot more than my friends parents so I assume its a problem but Im scared because the arguing gets worse in the holidays, but it might be just because im there more often to see it. But in the holidays, Ive got no school where I can run to. My school is also pretty far away so most of my friends live that far. Ive have two close friends that I can go to but one always goes on holiday and Ive just had a big argument with the other.
Do you have any advice on how I can deal with it or try to help my parents get along better? It would be great if you did. Thanks.
Sam
Hi there,
The long summer holidays can be worrying for some people because they have to spend more time at home. And this can affect family relationships. If home is not the easiest place to be then it can mean many weeks of stress, fear or arguments. Whatever the reason for not wanting to be at home, there are things you can do to make sure you look after yourself and cope.
When parents argue it can affect the rest of the family too. Seeing the people who are there to care for you arguing can be especially hard because it can start to make you feel like you are part of the problem. It's important to remember that no matter what, you are never responsible for your parent's arguments. This also includes trying to help your parents get along - that is their responsibility, not yours.
Coping with the stress that arguments can bring is a very personal decision and you need to work out what is best for you. You could try getting out of the house more so you see less of the arguments or find distractions within the house that take your mind off it. Our hobbies and interests message board might give you some ideas.
Some ideas for getting out of the house could be to sign up to some clubs or activities over the summer. This has the added benefit that you might get to do some fun things or meet new people. Volunteer work can also be a lot of fun, especially if it's something you care about, and can also get you out of the house.
If you aren't able to do this then giving yourself a project to work on at home could help distract you. Filming some videos, making something creative or learning something new are all good ways to focus your mind on something else. There are also things like books, TV, games and films that can help you escape for a little while.
It may also be a good idea to talk to your parents about how their arguments make you feel. Or talk to another adult you trust to get some support.
Your feelings are important and it's okay to tell them how their actions are affecting you. If you need help with this, you can always get support from our counsellors.
I hope that helps.
Thanks for your letter.
Sam
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