basically, i keep finding friendships really hard cos i keep thinking about the bad things theyve dont in the past. like 2 years ago i had a massive falling out with my friend for 3 months and weve made up know but i keep remembering how i felt at those times when she was horrid.
also in the summer my other friend said some really hurtful things to me and then she just came back to school and pretended nothing happened and we havent spoken about it since but im still super annoyed at her for it.
Sam
Hi there,
A big part of friendship is being open and honest with each other. This includes times when someone has hurt you or done something you didn't like. Talking about things is really important to any relationship. The more you talk, the clearer things will be for everyone. If you find it hard to let things go, that's a sign that you haven't said what you need to say to be able to move on.
Friends should be people we can talk to about anything. If we have problems or worries then our friends can be there to support us. But no friendship is ever perfect and people will do and say things that might let you down from time to time. It doesn't mean that someone can say anything they want to you though. It's okay to speak out when a friend has done something to hurt you.
When there's been a falling out with a friend there may be things you need to say or do before you can move on. It might be that you need to tell them how you feel or how they have affected you. You may also feel you need to reflect on your own actions and express your feelings in a private way, such as in a diary. Your Childline account has a mood journal where you can write down your feelings and track your mood, or we have games that can help you express your feelings. Whatever it is, holding on to the past can have a negative effect on your friendships so it's important to try and work on those problems.
Talking about the past could also bring back some of the hurt feelings for both you and your friends, so it might be best to think about what you’d like to happen first. If you're still annoyed about what your friend did last summer try to think about what you want to happen and the best way to achieve it.
I hope this has helped, thanks for sending me this letter.
Take care,
Sam
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