Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Having feelings for someone can be an exciting experience and imagining what it would be like to spend more time together. It can also feel scary if you are thinking about telling that person how you feel or thinking about asking them how they feel about you. 

I can hear that you're eager to ask him out but you aren’t sure how to do this. I think it’s important for you to firstly get to know this boy some more. It’s important to feel more comfortable around each other and find out if you have similar interests and things in common before rushing into things. Perhaps you could arrange to spend more time with each other, even if it’s just in school at first. Maybe smile at him and see what he's doing at break times. Perhaps a friend could help you arrange this. 

When you do feel ready to talk about this stuff or to ask him out, choose a time when no one else is around if saying it in front of people will make you feel embarrassed.

If you do ask someone out and you find that they like you too, it can make you feel really good and positive about yourself. And perhaps you'll find that you want to start a relationship with them.

If you find out that they don’t feel the same way, it might make you feel down. But just because one person doesn’t have the same feelings for you that you have for them, this doesn’t mean you are a bad person or that you won’t find love with someone else.

If you do find that you are feeling bad about yourself, it’s important to not go through these feelings alone and to talk about them. You can talk to friends and build your self-esteem.

You can also get support from other young people on our relationships message boards. You could even ask others advice about how to ask someone out. 

And of course you can also always talk to one of our counsellors whenever you need to.

Hope this helps.

Take care,
Sam