I'm 16 and have been talking to my friends cousin who is almost 18 and he got my number from my friend. He wont leave me alone and he was calling me his baby, but i told him to stop because i dont like him in that way and i have recently come out of a long term relationship and i'm still not coping well. He has pictures of me as a baby on his phone and whenever i ignore his texts he keeps texting me then rings me. I've told him many times that i don't like him and don't want a relationship but he just carrys on saying he's going to wait till i'm ready. He has also started buying my things and turning up outside my school which is sort of creeping me out. He has said to my friend, his cousin that he wants to kill himself. I feel guilty if i don't talk to him so i don't know what to do! Please help?
Sam
Hi there,
Well done for writing to me at what sounds like a difficult time for you. You have done the right thing to get in touch and I'd really like to try and support you.
From what you've said, it sounds like your friends cousin is trying to start a relationship with you, even though you've made it clear that you're not interested. It also seems like this is making you feel very uncomfortable.
I can hear that you are trying to get through your recent relationship break up and it sounds like this extra stress is really not something you need right now. I can hear that you've tried to be honest with him by explaining how you feel, but he has ignored what you have said and continues to buy you presents and wait for you outside school. You mention in your email that he has told your friend that he wants to kill himself. It sounds like that is adding more pressure on you, but I want you to know that he is not your responsibility. It's up to him what actions he chooses to take and to ask for support to help keep himself safe.
It sounds like his constant texting and calling your phone is not welcome and I want you to know that you do not have to put up with this. You could block his number to stop him harassing you by contacting your mobile phone service provider. If his behaviour continues to creep you out and if you are worried about your safety then you can ask someone for help. You could even think about speaking to the police.
You may find it helpful to seek the support of others at this time and you could read about how other young people have managed in similar situations on the ChildLine message boards.
It may help to talk to your friend about how her cousin is making you feel so that she can support you to make it stop. You may also want to talk to a trusted adult, like a parent/carer, teacher or school counsellor about your concerns so that they can help you to decide what to do next. They might also be able to help keep an eye out for him if he is waiting for you outside school. ChildLine counsellors are also here for you 24/7 by calling 0800 1111 or through the website for a 1-2-1 chat.
Take care,
Sam
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