Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

my school friendship problems.

hi , at school i feel as if nobody notices me . i don't have any proper friends and all the people who i thought were my friends are just ignoring me . i have talked to my teacher about this twice and she hasn't done anything to stop it . people seem to blame everything bad on me and it's really stressing me out , so much that i haven't been concentrating in lessons as much . i came to my school in year 3 . i'm now in year 6 and i still don't fit in . both my so called 'best friends' are total meanies and both stabbed me in the back multiple times . i REALLY need some advice!!! please help!!!!

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Bullying can come in many different forms and sometimes it can be from your friends. Being ignored, left out or spoken down to are all ways that friends can bully you. And they might not realise they’re doing it. When this happens it's good to be open and honest about how you feel. True friends will want to change things if you’re uncomfortable or upset.

I asked Charlie from The Diana Award - an anti-bullying charity - about this kind of bullying. Charlie said, "Not all bullying is obvious and sometimes people might not realise it’s bullying at first. Even though your friends aren’t calling you names or spreading rumours they can still bully you by leaving you out. Like any form of bullying it can make you feel completely alone and can damage your self-confidence. The best thing you can do is speak to someone you trust and tell them what’s happening".

Talking to someone can be difficult but finding the right person can make it a little easier. It might be that you talk to a friend who you trust. If you explain what happens and how you feel they might want to help you change things. If these people really are your friends they should try to make sure you're okay.

Sometimes people let us down. If you find your friends still don’t want to change and you still feel left out and ignored, then it might be time to move on. Making new friends can be difficult, but if you keep trying new things and meeting new people you’re more likely to find friends that fit with you.

Your friends may not realise what they were doing and how it was affecting you. It’s important to give them a chance to change and make things better. For this to happen it can be good to think about what exactly upsets you and what you'd like to change. If you can be specific then it's easier for people to know what they need to do.

And remember, you can always talk to a Childline counsellor.

I hope this has helped, thank you for writing to me. Take care.

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter