Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. When a relationship feels wrong it can be hard to know why. In any relationship it’s important to think about what’s right for you and whether you feel happy being in the relationship.

A big part of having a healthy relationship is communication and honesty. This means being able to talk to each other and share how you feel without being scared that it’s not what the other person wants to hear.

When you’ve never had a proper conversation it can make being open and honest difficult. Being honest to your boyfriend and to yourself can help you to decide what’s best for the future. It can be hard to be assertive, but it can help say how you feel.

It would be good to think about what might happen if you told your boyfriend that things don’t feel right. Deciding how you’d like him to respond and how he might actually respond can be a really good way to think about the future. Think about what you’d want to happen if your boyfriend felt how you did about the relationship.

Nobody can decide whether to stay with your boyfriend except you. It’s always okay to decide to break up with someone. A relationship is about two people wanting to be together, if you decided you wanted to break up with him then that’s okay. Having a plan of how and when to do it can help you to feel more confident. It can also help to ask an adult you trust for help.

No matter what’s happening remember that you can talk to a counsellor. They can support you to think about how you feel decide what you want to do in the future.

Take care,
Sam