Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Tell a friend my secret??

Hi Sam
Two years ago I was hanging out with a group of girls who I no longer han g out with. Basically, I stole something fromm boots got caught and I am now banned from all Boots stores. I am so ashamed of myself and I regret doing it and if I could go back and change it I would. I no longer hang out with those girls cause they werent doing me any good and my friends now are lovely and Im really happy. However, my friends don't know about the whole boots situation and I don't know whether to tell  them. My best friend once found out about another girl who we knew who had done a similar thing and the way she reacted was really sort of bad cause she was super shocked and I am so worried that if I tell her what I did that might treat me differently. However, if I dont tell them it makes it really difficult when we go into town cause I have to make up some excuse as to why I can't go into boots. Do you think I should tell all my friends or some of them or one of them or none of them??? Please help Thanks :)
Ask Sam

Sam

Hello,

Thank you for writing to me. It’s good to hear that you now have friends you enjoy spending time with. It sounds like you feel guilty now about what you did and I can hear that you’re feeling unsure about how much to say to your friends about what happened. You’ve also explained that because they don’t know about it, it can be difficult explaining why you can’t go into Boots with them. Keeping secrets can be hard, especially when things happen around us that make the secret harder to keep.  It seems like you want to be honest with them, but you are also concerned that telling them may change their opinions about you. If you do decide to tell them perhaps you could explain that is how you feel before you tell them more. Writing a letter can be another way of talking about something you feel nervous about, some young people say it has helped them to start difficult or embarrassing conversations.

I’m wondering whether anyone else knows about what happened, and the fact that you are banned from Boots. If anyone that you trust knows, have a think about talking to them about whether to tell your friends. Another place you may be able to get some ideas or advice about deciding what to do is the Friendship messageboards. 

You could also contact a ChildLine counsellor to talk more about who you would tell, and how much you would you tell them. It’s important that you choose someone you  feel comfortable to talking to - who may be able to help you decide what you'd like to do.

Thanks for your letter,

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter