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Hi there,
Thank you for your letter and well done for writing in to get some support.
I can hear that the arguments and your parents barely talking to you is really upsetting you and youd like things to go back to how they used to be. It must be pretty lonely at times when you're sat in your room. Its not okay for them not to talk to you.
If you want your parents to know how youre feeling then it can be good to take some time to think about exactly what you want them to know. Sometimes writing things down can help to make it clearer for you and perhaps if saying things aloud feels difficult you could show them what youd written instead.
If you did decide to talk to them, it would be important to pick a time when theyre feeling calm. This will give you the time to properly talk it though. Perhaps at the start you could all agree to listen to each other.
It sounds like youre not feeling sure about whats making these arguments get this heated as you say that they start over the smallest things. Perhaps it would be a good idea to have a think back to when they started and whether anything seemed to happen or change around that time. Sometimes thinking more about what might be causing them can help you to see if there are particular situations when they start.
Im concerned to hear that you feel like youre going back into a dark place. If you havent done so already, it might be an idea to let an adult you trust know how youre feeling, so that maybe they can give you some extra support.
We also have information about problems with your family that you could find useful to read.
There is also always a counsellor here at ChildLine for you to talk to. You can call on 0800 1111 (all calls are free and dont show up on the bill) or by using 1-2-1 chat. It might give you a chance to talk things through, especially if youre feeling worried about not being able to cope.
I hope this has helped - please do get in touch if you would like to talk about what's going on some more.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.