Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Sexual Harassment

At school there is this boy who is always doing dirty stuff next to me. I'll give you some examples. I sit there and he makes sexual noises next to me, he always looks up my skirt & touches my bum!  I was taking a test in science, & I took of my jumper, and he said to me
"C your **** are growing!"
I ignored him, then he said
"I got a **** over you & I'm gonna ********** over you tonight!"
Obviously he is making me very uncomfartable, I've told my parents what has been happening & they told me to go immediantly to the school & report whats going on before anything gets worse. I have done as they said, and now I'm getting regular contact frm my school, as they are investigating more into whats happened.  The boy knows that I've reported him, & he might face exclusion.
I'm really scared that he might say something or call me names whenever he sees me!
Thanks for taking the time to read this, but I need advice urgently!
Thankyou.
C  
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi C,

Thanks for your message and for telling me what has been happening to you at school. From what you’ve said, it is understandable that what this guy has been doing is making you feel really uncomfortable. I’m really pleased that you’ve recognised that he has been sexually harassing you and reported this to school. You have the right to go to school without this kind of thing happening. Your parents sound very supportive of you, and it’s great that you were able to tell them, and then report it. You have taken a huge step towards getting this behaviour stopped, and that was a really brave thing to do.

You’ve said that you’re scared because this boy knows that you’ve reported him. I can hear that you’re worried he may call you names or say something to you when he sees you. It might be helpful to let your teachers know that you are scared of seeing him round school. School have a duty to protect you from all kinds of bullying and harassment. Perhaps you could explain to the staff that you don’t want to sit next to him in lessons. If you are worried about seeing him at break or lunchtimes, you could make a plan for safe places to go, where you won’t be on your own. For example, you might be able to go to the library, or to a lunch time club.

You haven’t told me if you have any friends who know what’s been happening. If you do, it might be helpful to ask them to take turns to stay with you while you are at school, so that you are less likely to meet him by yourself. If he says or does anything else to scare or upset you, it is really important to tell an adult straight away.

From what you have said it sounds as though you are trying to make some choices about how to deal with what is going on. Remember that you don’t have to face this situation alone. You can talk to a ChildLine counsellor for support at any time. You can contact a ChildLine counsellor, either on the phone or online in 1-2-1 chat. They won’t tell you exactly what to do, but they will talk through the options you might have.

Thanks for writing to me,

Take care,

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter