Hi there,
Bed wetting can be a problem for some people, no matter what age they are. Whether there is a physical problem or not, it's still a medical issue and it's not something you should feel ashamed about.
Wetting the bed can happen to anyone, but if it's happening regularly it's usually a sign of a medical problem. This might be a physical, emotional or mental health problem but whatever is the cause, it's real and you can get support for it. There are lots of products that can help to make sure your medical problem has as little effect on you as possible, which you can ask your GP about.
When someone can't always make it to the toilet in time, or can't stop themselves from wetting the bed at night, this is called incontinence. Sleepovers are a big worry for people with incontinence because you might find it embarrassing and not want to make a mess.
The first thing to do would be to talk to your friends’ parents - or ask a parent or carer to do this for you. They can make sure you feel supported whilst you're staying with them so you can focus on enjoying your time with your friend. Some of the products you can buy are specifically for sleepovers - things like sleeping bag liners can give an extra bit of protection if there is an accident.
You don't have to keep this to yourself but it's okay if you want to. Everyone has the right to privacy when it comes to medical problems. You can hide any special underwear you have like pads or nappies in your sleeping bag, so that if you need to change them at night, you can do that privately. Keep a bag nearby in case you need to put any wet underwear into it at night, so you can deal with it the next day.
Your GP might not know what is causing you to wet the bed but they’ll have links to people who can support you and products you can buy to help. If you ever want to talk about how you're feeling then Childline counsellors are there for you as well.
You can also post on Childline’s message boards for support from other young people. ERIC, a children’s bowel and bladder charity, also have lots of advice for kids and teenagers, as well as a dedicated message board, that could help.
Thanks for writing to me about this, take care.
Sam
