Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Masturbation is normal for every age, gender and sexuality, and it is also a natural part of puberty. It's okay to do it as much or as little as you like and it's not dirty or disgusting. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with it and it isn't affecting other parts of your life.

I get a lot of questions about masturbation and often people say they feel disgusted by themselves because of it. You don't need to be ashamed or feel bad about yourself for doing it.

Masturbation can be a part of a normal sex life and is often the way that people begin to explore their sexuality. This happens at different ages for different people and it's okay to do whenever you feel ready.

If you still feel bad and disgusted about masturbating it might help to try and think about what makes you feel this way. Sometimes it might be because you feel like it's not normal to do it, so you might find it useful to hear from other young people. You can talk anonymously about masturbation on the Childline message boards and see how others feel about it.

Masturbation shouldn't ever hurt - if you do something that hurts, then remember that you're in control and can stop. There aren't any known effects of masturbating on your future sexual health or any medical reasons not to do it as often as you want to.

If you find the amount you're masturbating is having an effect on other parts of your life then this could become a problem, such as if you're falling behind on school work because you are spending too much time masturbating. I answered a letter about this which you might find useful to read if you're struggling to control how much you do it.

It's also okay if someone doesn't masturbate. Everybody is different, some people don't want to and some people start doing it when they are older or as an adult - and that's okay too. But remember that masturbation is a natural and normal thing to do, and you get to decide when and how it happens, if at all.

I hope this has helped to reassure you that no matter what age you are, it's okay to explore your sexuality in a safe way like this. You can also talk confidentially to our Childline Counsellors who can give you more advice and will never judge you for anything you tell them.

Take care.

Sam

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