Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

When someone close to you dies it can be one of the hardest experiences in life to go through, especially when that person is a parent. It can feel like things will never be okay again.

If you're feeling upset, lonely, angry or confused, then you are certainly not alone. These difficult thoughts and feelings are a natural reaction to loss.

People cope with bereavement in lots of different ways, and there is no right or wrong way to cope. There's also no proper time scale for when people might start to feel better. You'll know how you feel and nobody else can tell you what you should be feeling, but it's important to remember that you don't have to put pressure on yourself to get rid of those feelings.

It's quite normal to need extra support when someone dies, and it’s okay to ask for it. Only you will know the kind of support you need. It could be anything from finding ways to let out your feelings, to talking to an adult or friend who you can trust, or getting support from a counsellor through your GP or a professional in this area.

Some people also like to keep a memory box or create a space to remind them of the person who died, with photos, gifts or other special things that would them to hold on to the good things that they remember about the person who died.

You might also find it helpful to look at a website called Winston's Wish - it has some helpful ideas on how you can remember someone who's passed.

Please remember Childline is always there for you and the counsellors are ready to talk if you would like to do that. You can call for free on 0800 1111, send an email or have a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Sam