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Hi S
Thanks also S for writing to explain everything. Being brave enough to share your letter and talk about things that you are unsure about, can often help others to have the confidence to do the same and its only then they are able to get some support, so well done for that. Its also great that you are so aware of whats going on for you.
Id like to say that developing attachments in the way you describe is understandable, especially when someone is treating you kindly and with respect. At the same time, it sounds like you find it quite strange. It might be that you are looking to find some things that dont feel quite complete or are missing in your life, such as the affectionate times you might have with a mum, like the hugs you mention or talking about whats on your mind.
Although I really dont believe this is weird or it means that there is something wrong with you, it's a good idea to think about boundaries with people who you dont know very well. What I mean by this is that it is important to learn quite a bit about someone before getting too attached or close. That would help keep you safe and would also help protect you from being hurt if you became too involved too quickly. I hope that makes sense. Very sadly, not all people are as honest as we would like and this is why is it wise to be careful and think seriously when we feel keen to give and receive affection.
Some young people who are adopted can find as they grow up, that they have lots of questions about adoption or need to talk through their feelings about being adopted. If you feel this way, I think it could be very helpful for you to speak to a ChildLine counsellor and you may do that by ringing 0800 1111 (calls are free) or having a 1-2-1 chat with a counsellor, or sending an e-mail.
Something else that might help is if you check out the ChildLine message boards where young people who are in similar situations share their thoughts, feelings and ideas.
You might also like to have a look at the website After Adoption, this is an organisation for those involved with adoption and they have a Youth Line that you can ring on 0808 808 1234 (Monday-Thursday 9-6 pm, Tuesday until 8 pm and Friday 9 am until 4 pm).
Please remember that ChildLine are always here to support you and thanks again for writing to me, your letter is so important.
Take care
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.