Hi there,
Thank you for your letter and well done for writing in to get some support.
It sounds like the idea that you might have cancer is something that is really worrying and frightening for you. Its understandable that it would be something that you feel scared about if its something that youve seen family members go through when you were little.
You say that you have searched up the symptoms and that you have most of them. It seems like thats making you feel more convinced that you do have cancer.
I cant tell you if you do have cancer or not and Im not sure exactly what symptoms you mean, but what might be important to think about is that a lot of the symptoms for cancer are very common. They are things that could be linked to something else or explained in a different way. So having these symptoms doesnt necessarily mean you do have cancer.
However, if youre feeling ill in any way or you have ongoing symptoms, that are worrying you, then it would be really important to speak to a doctor or an adult that you trust. Perhaps you could speak to your mum about your worries and see what she thinks about the symptoms you have.
I can also hear that you feel worried about the idea of a doctor touching you. Unfortunately sometimes when were not feeling well doctors do have to touch us. But there are a few things that might be important to think about:
1. You could always make sure there was someone else there with you, like your mum or another adult you trust to support you.
2. You can let a doctor know that it is something that you dont feel comfortable with so that he or she could perhaps touch you as little as possible
3. You could maybe ask the doctor to explain what they are doing and why and to let you know if they are going to touch you so it doesnt take you by surprise.
You say that you dont know how to talk to your mum about it and it sounds like this is because youre worried that you might find out some bad news about your symptoms. Not knowing can be really stressful so the sooner you get it checked out, the sooner you can know for sure.
Perhaps if saying some of this to your mum feels difficult you could have a think about whether you might like to write it down in a letter for her.
You can always practise what you might like to say with a ChildLine counsellor, either by calling on 0800 1111 (all calls are free and dont show up on the bill) or by using the 1-2-1 chat (it works like instant messenger).
You may also like to take a look at the asking an adult for help page for some other tips and things to think about.
Youve done really well to write this letter and please remember there is always someone at ChildLine to support you whatever you decide to do next.
Take care,
Sam
