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Masturbation

hi im 12 and i feel disgusting if i masterbate but i cant stop myself from doing this

i watch porn sometimes but i feel really guilty

while i do this i feel guilty and then i wonder if my friends do it......

my friends are always laughing and making sexual jokes but im not comfrotable laughing becaus of my guilt.

my mum doesn‘t know and its awkward to even think about talking about it

my friends are really open about most topics and about sexuality but dont expect it from me because they assume i dont get the jokes as i dont laugh at them.

i want to talk to someone about this but i dont know who....

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Masturbation is something lots of people choose to do and it's not unhealthy or disgusting. It often starts during puberty, but you can do it at any age, in any way you like and as often as you like. There's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and some people masturbate while thinking about fantasies or sometimes watching porn. Porn can be harmful if you don't understand that it's for adults and is not realistic.

Both boys and girls masturbate and it can be a part of a healthy sex life. This often starts when you're younger, or perhaps during puberty, and are experimenting with sexual thoughts and feelings. Masturbation can be a way to explore sex in a safe and private way. It's not disgusting or unusual for you to be thinking about sex and masturbating.

Some people are more open about sex than others - and it's okay if you don't feel comfortable talking about it with friends or in public. If you wanted to be more confident when talking about sex with your friends then it might help to get used to talking about it with someone else first. A Childline counsellor can talk to you about masturbation and will be there to listen in a safe, private space. There's nothing you can say that will shock or embarrass a counsellor and they won't judge you for anything you say.

You may also find it helpful to post on our message boards. There are lots of other young people there who may be willing to share their thoughts about masturbation.

I hope this has helped, thanks for your letter.

Take care,

Sam

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