Hi Sam I'm a boy nearly 15, I am the shortest boy in my class. I know I'm only likely to be around 5ft4 or 5ft5 when I'm all grown. People say I'm kind, smart, caring, even funny, and some girls have even called me cute. In the last year I've asked a few girls out but they've all said no, and two of them told me straight that I was too short. I looked at what I could find on the internet and found it's a very gendered problem, boys/men are only really affected by stigma if they're short, and it's really common or girls/women on dating sites to put "6ft or over" as a height for men, even saying "I know my worth", and that guys as short as I will be find it really hard to date. I know not all girls are like this, but it seems really common. I also read that short men find it harder to get jobs, be promoted, and are often put down or ridiculed (I already know this). It makes me feel pretty fed up because I can't do anything about my height and it seems so unfair as it doesn't change who I am as a person or even have any health issues from just being short. What can I or other boys like me do? Thanks.
Sam
Hi there
It can be easy to compare yourself to others and although everyone should know that they're unique individuals, people can still put society’s expectations on themselves and feel pressure to look or be a certain way. It’s frustrating to be judged on how we look as there isn’t a perfect person or body.
Your body changes during puberty and everyone grows at different times and ages. There's no right or wrong size and the person who you are, your smile, your laugh, even the way you walk or talk makes you extra special and attractive to others. We don’t all like the same things, and that’s the same with who we find attractive.
There are things people can’t change about themselves, and that can feel hard to accept. Thoughts and feelings can change and something you don’t like about yourself now is something you may learn to love in the future.
How you feel about yourself can impact your self worth and confidence. Let’s start with learning to like yourself more. Things like making a list of one to three things you like about yourself can help and in time, you can add to your list.
Putting post it notes around your room giving yourself praise or telling yourself how amazing you are daily can help you start to think and feel better about yourself and grow your confidence. Also listening to uplifting podcasts or music can help too.
Lots of young people speak to Childline about their body image and self esteem. Many young people find speaking to other young people on the Childline message boards can be a great form of support. Childline counsellors can help too and are always there to listen and support you.
Take care
Sam
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