hi sam, recently ive been fealing really upset and like i dont want to do the stuff i used to live to do. but im just so insecure i want to look like all the other girls i see all over instagram but i dont im ugly and fat and i know you cant do anything about it and niether can i really but i see all these gorgeouse girls with perfect bodies and perfect faces and i just wanna look like them because they can easily find a boyfriend and have a good life but no one want to be friends with the ugly girl so i have no one to talk to and all because im ugly . im not sure why im sending this i just wanted to tell someone how i feel i guess
Sam
Hi there,
There's a lot of pressure to look a certain way, dress nicely and be "good looking". A lot of this pressure can come from who you see online and on TV and magazines. It's important not to let these kinds of images affect your self-confidence and to look after your mental health.
Instagram and other social media platforms have a big focus on taking pictures of yourself. This can mean the photos people put online are usually very carefully chosen. There are a lot of ways to make photos look "better" using filters and apps. And they're used a lot by influencers and on large channels. Lighting and professional cameras also make a big difference to how people look in photos. Usually people look just like everyone else in real life - but when you see near-perfect people online all the time it's easy to forget that it's not reality.
What someone finds beautiful is different for different people. Nobody has a perfect body and the most important person to impress is yourself. If you can find a way to be happy with how you look then it becomes easier to keep your self-esteem high. Once you have better self-esteem it can stop holding you back from meeting people and connecting with them - which is where relationships form.
If you're worried about finding a partner because of the way you look, try taking a step back from how everyone else looks and work on loving yourself first. Once you do this you can show people all of the great qualities you have because you won't be hiding them away behind low self-confidence. It takes some practice and it won't happen straight away - you'll have good days and bad days - but the more you do it, the more confident you will be. Beauty means so many different things, but it's not all about how you look - being happy within yourself and confident in who you are can make a big difference.
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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