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Asker

To Sam

Fitting in

Hi i am a 11 year old girl and i do not fit in ANYWHERE. I guess i am a bit weird i always wear black and sometimes i say or do weird things.nobody at school bullys me but i can tell they think i am weird.

Then there is my family. I live with my mum ,dad, sister and brother. they are very loving and supportive but they dont understand me. they are all so quiet and and i am loud . we also have completely different tastes in items. like i reacently got my own room and i wanted to paint my room a lilac but my family said that that is disgusting color and painted it this horrible yellow -cream color

So that is my problem

please give me your advice

xxx

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there

Feeling like you don’t fit in can sometimes make you feel upset or sad. You might like different things to your friends and family but it's important that your feelings or views are respected by the people around you. Opinions are really just preferences - they don’t make you or anyone else right or wrong.

People have all kinds of tastes and it’s okay when your style is different to someone else's. Opinions and tastes are all about expressing your likes and dislikes and other people shouldn’t put your down for them or tell you that they're bad or stupid.

You might not be allowed to choose big things at home, like what colour your room's painted, but you could ask to choose something smaller like a cushion, blanket or duvet cover in a colour or style that you like. Try to find a compromise so that you can have some items that can express your tastes and make your room feel more like it’s yours. You could also make or recycle something if money is tight.

When you don’t have a lot in common with your friends it can be hard to feel accepted and part of the group. It can make you feel lonely at times as well. It’s natural to drift apart from some friends as you get older and your interests change, but you can still keep in touch even if you don’t feel as close as you used to. You’ll probably meet new people and make new friends when you’re doing something that you enjoy. You could join a club, after school activity or take up a new hobby that interests you.

It’s natural to want other people to like you but it's important not to change yourself just to fit in. Everyone's different and it’s those differences that make you unique. Being confident in knowing what you like and not being ashamed of it can often mean people feel more accepting of your choices.

Thank you for your letter. Our Childline counsellors are always here for you if you want to talk more about this or anything else that’s worrying you.

Take care,

Sam

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